Thursday, February 28, 2008

veggie giveaway

It's a pretty common for this to happen:

*Knock Knock*
Me: Hey Jill.
Jill: Hey, can I have some bread? I'm out and Sean wants a sandwich.
Me: Sure. Do you have any coke over there?

or...

One of the girls: What are you making?
Me: Something yummy. Want to help me to take some to Jill?

or...

Jill: Hey I made cookies! Here is your plate!

so.........

I was in the kitchen making dinner last night. None of my family like vegetables but I faithfully make them anyway and eat them alone. Osmosis right? Ellie was watching me get out the brocolli, califlower and carrots.

Ellie: What is that?
Me: Califlower.
Ellie: Yucky.
Me: No...it's so yummy.
Ellie: No...its not.
Me: I love this stuff.
Ellie: *puts the lid back on the casserole dish full of veggies and wraps her little arms and hands around the dish to pick it up* You need to make NEW food.
Me: Why?
Ellie: THIS is for Jill.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

my world traveler

It has been snowing here today.

A lot.

And I have been watching it on and off with Addy.

Except once, we peeked out the window to find it REALLY snowing.

Addy: That's it. We live in Russia.

piles and piles

My sister in law is pregnant as is expecting her first baby (a boy!) in 8-9 weeks. She is super smart, super motivated, super with-it, super organized, super fun, super ... well you get it. But lately she has been experiencing "pregnancy body" -- you know...where you drop things, forget things, aren't organized, and can't find things. Which is so not her.

We have been talking about how she has piles of papers everywhere in her house. One pile for a breastfeeding class -- one pile for hospital registration -- one pile for daycares -- one pile for this and that...and how she is so befuddled by the clutter and piles and files.

At the time I was thinking "oh just wait, sally" but then she told me another friend had already pointed out that it doesn't go away after pregnancy but continutes on. The piles just turn into softball registration forms, preschool choices and prices, book orders, and recipes your picky eater may consume. So I didn't feel too bad poiting out that there are other kinds of piles too.

Like how Ellie has decided that the stencil box has become a home and carrying case for her ponies...so I have a pile of homeless stencils.

And I have a giant pile of blankets, towels, and sheets that are waiting to folded since I had to wash them allll at once after the flu.

And I have a pile of books I need to add to Addy and Ellie's reading lists.

And I have a giant pile of movies Neal picked up from the library I want to watch in the alloted time.

I have a giant pile of clothes that are 1/2 clean because the girls have been playing dress up with regular clothes.

I have a giant pile of art supplies that need to be put away after making "get well" pictures for our sick neighbor.

Piles and piles. And just when I think I have a head start on the process of defeating the piles...another pile will rear its ugly head. It's like wrestling an octopus. (Or as Ellie says, a "woctopus".) Just when I have the art supplies picked up, the books added to the list and put away, a couple movies watched while I fold blankets, the dress up madness firmly ended, located a new home for the stencils, and cooked a recipe out of the pile...the pile of new curtains falls off the dryer reminding me I need to hang them up.

I have no doubt that Sally will make an awesome mom. I'm so excited for her to get to put on the badge of the "woctopus warriors" and join in the battle together.

Go, Sally!

Friday, February 22, 2008

hey Laura



This is Malcolm Gladwell. I LOVE his hair. He has written The Tipping Point. That is what I am reading next.

Just so you know. :)

because of Laura



This is Mark Dunn. He wrote Ella Minnow Pea.

for Laura



This is Donna Jo Napoli...she wrote the King of Mulberry Street.

my new phone policies

ATTENTION EVERYONE! THIS IS FOR YOU!

After getting ripped for not answering my phone each and every time it rang...I did so today and spent almost 3 straight hours on the phone. Not EVER again will I do that.

1. I reserve the right to not answer for my phone for ANY reason. Even if you don't like the reason. Even if its because my neighbor has toe fungus growing on the backyard tree and has nothing to do with me.

2. You may leave me a message, but do not put a time restriction on me until I return it. If its a under a week...you just got lucky.

3. You may chose not to leave me a message...I will probably still call you back but maybe not on that same day. Maybe tomorrow.

3a. I reserve the right to leave messages sitting in my inbox. For whatever reason I choose. This includes "I'm too lazy to delete them".

3b. I acknowledge that sometimes phones don't ring or record messages. You maybe should too.

4. I reserve to the right to absentmindedly leave my phone in the car and not immediatly go retreave it. I reserve the right to not know where it is.

5. I reserve the right to be on a different level, room, or hearing space than my phone. I do sometimes run the dishwasher, the washing machine, the vacuum, and the hair dryer all at once.

5a. I reserve the right to not violate my fashion/comfort by carrying my phone in my pocket all day. I am not a man.

6. I reserve the right to take my phone with me somewhere...but leave it in my pocket or purse where I may not hear it.

7. I reserve the right to not answer my phone if I am doing something else. Anything else.

8. I reserve the right to not answer my phone if I am tired. Which is a lot.

9. I reserve the right to not answer my phone because I don't know where it is. Which is a lot.

9a. I reserve the right to leave my phone on vibrate. I reserve the right to forget it's on vibrate. Forgetting usually gets me some peace.

10. If you feel like you may need emergency numbers...I will provide them for you. Use them only in the case of an emergency. Emergencies do not include thinking I am dead because I haven't answered my phone for 5 hours. They include births, bleeding, deaths, hospital visits and that is it.

11. I will always answer my phone if you are babysitting my kids and I am not with them.

12. If I ever fail to be reached in case of an actual emergency you can submit a written complaint. But you only have 3 hours after said emergency to actually do so. Otherwise they will be denied.

(note: I answered my phone when my sally went to the hospital and when neal needed help home from work feeling sick. I answered the phone when my Aunt Sara's uncle died. I'm not doing THAT bad.)

I WILL NOT LIVE AND DIE BY MY PHONE. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT -- GET ME A 911 ONLY PHONE. so there.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

888 updates

Ok...so did you think I had given up???? (Meade c'mon now...you CAN read this post.)

Well...nope. I just got hung up on one book.

I finished reading "The King of Mulberry Street." I didn't realize when I chose it is for young adults...so it ended up being a pretty easy read...but it was still really good. It was the story a Italian Jewish boy whose mom put him on a boat and sent him to America with this instruction: SURVIVE. (I could never never never do that.)

He was nine I think. And the condition of New York at that time for immigrants was of course horrible. I am beginning to understand that the sacrifice families made to find better lives was not so much in the leaving...but in the surviving the arrival. America isn't quite as shiny in its history as we think. Good book.

Then I read "Ella Minnow Pea." It was an awesome read. It is the tale of a island that was the home of the inventor of the phrase, "The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over the Lazy Dog." You know...all the letters of the alphabet are there.

Anyway...he's a big hero on his home island and a statue with his phrase has been erected. But the tiles start falling off. And the powers that be have decided that he is speaking from the grave and telling the inhabitants of the island they can no longer use those letters in their writing or speech. The book is written in letter form...and the letters end up quite funnie whin you can't use tha lettrs u neet. The first offense of using a banished letter constitutes a warning, the second a beating or the stocks, and the third offense you get kicked off the island or killed. The insanity can only be stopped if an equally short phrase using all the letters is discovered.
I was hooked.

Thennnnnnnnnnnn...I picked up "One hundred years of solitude"...by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. And this is the book that I got stuck on and it took me a long time to finish. Here is his picture (for Laura):

I wish that I had been able to find the picture of him that is on the back of the book cover. Does he look like a man of great depth...with many layers...both serious, funny, loveable, crazy, and kind allllllllll at once? Yeah...I thought so too...and THAT is exactly what is book is. I liked the book...and I will read much more of his stuff...but man...its heavy reading. Getting through all his words are like pushing aside wet heavy curtains. There are very few paragraph breaks on the pages...soooo many words. And in this book...it covers like six generations and they alllllll have the same name. It was hard for my mind to remember who I was reading about in all those words with no paragraph breaks.

It originally written in Spanish. I didn't know that at first. I feel smart reading a Spanish novel. GGM is a nobel prize winner...and said to be the best writer in Spanish since Cervantes (Don Quixote).

The book is fantastical and mundane, meaningful and meaningless, profound and fun, and simply real. Its about the Buendia family living in a mythical villiage...and for six generations how they live and love and die and yet remain.

One critic said it is the first book since the Bible that should be required reading for allll humans. Well...I don't know about THAT...but I hate to return it to the library. I want to keep it. Even if it sets me way behind in the 888 challenge it was sooooooooooooo worth reading.

******************

Update: We found like 20 mistakes in my typing, spelling, and grammer. I'm convicted. I'll start proofreading. That stinks.

Update 2: SON OF A NUTCRACKER! Grammar. Thanks, K. I'm secretly hoping that as Addy works on her own phonics...I'll learn too. It wasn't until at 25 as I watched the Leap Frog videos I could tell you what sound each letter made.

Monday, February 18, 2008

death by beheading



This is my butler. He was my graduation present and I wanted him more than anything else. I loved him at first sight through the Bombay Company window. His name at our house is "Little Matt." He is named after our friend Matt...Addy's call. Neal spent most of our marraige destesting the thing. But not tonight. It was revealed that Little Matt had grown in Neal's heart. Little Matt has died tonight. Addy had wrapped the vacuum cord around his body to play some imaginary adventure game.

Me: Hey...don't pull too hard on that cord...he will fall over and break.
Addy: Ok. (procedes to be careful)
That Little Voice in my Head: You should make her take that cord off. Alert Alert Alert Disaster is Coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ran upstairs to check on Neal.

Addy: No Ellie don't pull on that! ****SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEK******** NO ELLIE!!!!

There is a crash and a thud. I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath.

Addy: nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo IT BROKE!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The tears were streaming down her red little face and she was totally hysterical.

It was not...a..."I broke it and I'm sad cry". It was a "I broke and my mom is never ever going to love me ever again scream." When I looked at my poor butler his head was laying a few inches from his body. Poor Little Matt.

I of course wrapped her up and told her it was my fault for not asking her to take off the cord and I know it was an accident and it was ok. Annnnd...after further investigation I think we can glue his head back IN and it will ok. Sort of a Nearly Headless Nick thing going on.

What a sad sad day.

crud-ka-zud

Phone Rings.

Me: Hello?
Neal: *sounding like death itself* Come and get me...I'm about to pass out.
Me: *click* GET IN THE CAR GIRLS!

By the time I arrive at Neal'a work to retrieve him...he has projectile vomited (Neal said he didn't believe in projective vomit...but now he does) all over the bathroom stall walls. He was mopping it up as I came into the store and the janitor.....well.....she was shaking disinfectant all over the floor. :)

You know how parmesan cheese shakers stop up and are slow...so if you want a lot you take the lid off and then shake it out? This is the janitor with the disinfectant. :)

Neal's manager: Maybe you should go home now.

I'm going to go pack a bag for the girls...so if I start in...all I have to do is call Nana-911. :)

pray for the whitlow house...the microbials are taking over my world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

hot water heater and toilet seat meditations

Addy: Papa?
Neal: Hang on Ads. I'm busy.
Addy: Uh Papa?
Neal: Addy...I said I'm busy just a second and I will listen.
Addy: NO PAPA! There is something you MUST come and see.

Of course that got Neal moving. And what Addy wanted him to see was a steady trickling of water that was running from the utility closet down the intake vent...onto the floor...and around the corner under the washing machine.

Neal: God job on seeing and thinking about that water, Addy.

Of course we called the emergency maitenance line...and of course the poor man had to come and look at it...and of course we need a whole new water heater. Hopefully to be replaced in the morning.

Bill (the maitence man): I have turned it so water doesn't go into the heating tank...so you can still wash your hands and stuff with cold water. Now if it busts open...you can call me.
Me: (in my head) ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!! (outloud) But that won't happen right.
Bill: It shouldn't.

Just before this I was grumbling while cleaning my gross toilets and floors from this weekends bug. Gross gross gross.....how grosssssss is this. I hate it when my family gets sick...and it is soooo not fun to clean everything afterwards. I hate cleaning possibly microbial filled toilets and blankets and clothes. Ick-o.

THEN...I was immediatly humbled by these thoughs.

"What does a family in Africa do when they get sick."
"Geez...they don't even have nice shiny white toilets to urp in."



This is a picture I snagged off of a blog called Rocks In My Dryer. I didn't ask permission first...so I hope its ok...I will stop by her blog and tell her I did it. I think her name is Shannon. She has just been on a trip to Uganda.

*Sidenote*

My parents took a trip to Zimbabwe last summer to a mission that their church runs. This does not make ME anything...but I feel like perhaps a small part of me went. And I have not been there first hand...but maybe a little bit second hand. I have heard her stories and seen her pictures--which I think is different that just reading about it online or in a book. And I have had dinner personally with the african couple that is in charge (at least partially) of running the mission. I try to keep the orhpans my parents have adopted there in my prayers and heart always. They have adopted a four year old named Michal and a teenager named Hazel. I try to send things to them each time their church ships a large container. Again...I do not think this makes me anything

Then after I was grumbling about not having hot water I was humbled by these thoughts.

"Ok...I had hot water already to get my dishes in the dishwasher and take a bath."
"There are no baths and no dishwashers in Africa."
"Mostly there is no hot water in Africa."
"There is probably very little plumbing in Africa."
"I will have hot water in the morning."

There is a lot I don't understand about God. There are a lot of thigns that go around and around in my mind his nature. Espcially the issue of wealth in our country and in Africa. Endless questions. I am often unsure about how to pray for money. Like...how could God care if I can pay for my car insurance when most of the world has never been in a car. I don't believe that there is an easy answer for this...so don't try to give me one. I soothe my questions by thinking that God has put me here in America and I must do my best in this situation...but really deep down...I will have to ask HIM my questions one day to find my peace about this.

In the meantime...I have decided to not feel selfish and ugly about the water and the sick kids clean up. I'm really quite lucky.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

my thoughts on germs

Sigh. Times like today always make you re-evaluate your take on germs. On the one hand...I want to go crazy and run out and buy Hand Sanitzer by the gallon. Some to use on hands...and some to slather over every flat surface, handle, knob, toy, and button in the house. And in the exact next moment I want to laugh because I know that is soooooooooo not me.

I do not want to be the mom who

a. makes her kids wash their hands each time they touch their nose
b. washes her own hands when she touches the floor
c. freaks out in public places out commonly touched things

My mom and Neal swear that first with Addy I was crazy and boiled everything. I have NO memory of this. NONE. But even if its true...it passed quickly. I do remember boiling bottle niples and suckies first out of the package...but they say I repeatedly boiled things. Now I just rip them out of the package and blow them off. :)

I know lots of places are dirty. I know lots of things are growing bacterium by the ga-gillion. I know that someone who went to the bathroom and didn't wash their hands probably just sat in my chair at this table. I did that swabby thing in high school with the bathroom sink, public phone, and drinking fountain. I know I know I know.

But I also stand firm that the world is dirty. And letting our immune systems encounter icky things is actually good for us. Most of the time I don't use antibacterial stuff. (Today I bought clorox wipes.) And I believe with all my heart that dirt doesn't hurt anyone. Even if there is bacteria in it. Which there is.

And I can go crazy crazy crazy about tables in restaurants, rigirous hand washing (although today I have lost the top 2 layers of skin from hand washing),toy sanitizing, "don't touch that-ness". But...all it takes in ONE TEEEEENY TINY Microbial to make you throw up. And that one...it will get through your defenses. It WILL.

So I say...relax...most of the time everyone will be ok...and some times...one microbial will get through. That's life. But the rest of the time...defenses need practice. So.

Did I freak out when Ellie picked up her gum off the floor at Wal-Mart and put it back in her mouth...for about 4.2 seconds. Then...oh well. That's life. And its too late. Like someone told me...you can be insanely careful...but the next thing you know...your kid is licking the banister from the top of the stairs to the bottom of the stairs at Disney world.

What will be...will be. :)

Friday, February 15, 2008

not again...

When you become a mom...you learn all the little subtle sounds in the voices of your children. If their voice sounds one way...you know something is really wrong and you run. If their voice sounds another way...you know to just walk quickly. You know if there is teasing, panic, anger, frustration, fear, silliness...just in the tone.

That being said...the word "MOM!" can sound so many different ways. Some make my head snap up...some I ignore.

The "MOM"! that rang out tonight in my house had me moving before I heard the rest of the sentance.......which was "Ellie is throwing up!"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!! I thought we already did this once this season! And I figured that it would be Addy whose immune system was being tested...but its really Ellie that gets the most junkies...or at least seems to start with her. Where does she pick this crud up? She's home with me most of the time? And she's 3...not 1. She doesn't put every little thing in her mouth anymore. grrrrrrrrr.

So...its 12:15 and I'm up listening to the breathing of my sick kiddo on the couch...waiting to jump with the barf bowl. She has thrown up SIX times tonight. I have even given up sticking her in the bath everytime...just a wipe down with baby wipes since she'll probably urp again in the next 20 min. We'll wait for a good no urp stretch before bath number 3.

Poor Neal...he has to work at 8 in the morning...(which is extremely rare). He is sleeping on the floor next to Addy in fear that she will wake up with puke all over her. He is stationed ready and waiting with a second barf bowl just in case. Addy is on the floor too...we have been "camping out" on the floor this week...so at least there are already piles and piles of blankets to sleep on. I drug a big cushion downstairs to sleep on if I ever make it there.

But in an effort to "rejoice in all things" -- I am trying to keep my attitude high and be thankful for the barf blessings.

* I'm thankful I live right behind a grocery store so any and all puke supplies are quickly and easily attainable.

* I'm thankful that I already had a list ready for the grocery store because of the yucky weather supposed to hit here tomorrow.

* I'm thankful that Neal was only outside during the first barf and not at work.

* I'm thankful that even though I had convinced myself the first time was a fluke...I had a bowl close by for number two.

* I'm thankful that my washing machine and dryer were not totally backed up and the 1st and 2nd round of towels, blankets, clothes, and lovies are already dry and ready to go again.

* I'm thankful that I have a carpet shampooer. I'll be using it in the morning.

* I'm thankful that the "build party" for Stuck in the Middle that was scheduled for 10 AM tomorrow got cancelled.

****************************************************

NOW I am thankful that Neal was upstairs with Addy...because she is also throwing up.

*I'm thankful that I am not a single parent. Whatever would you do if there was one mom for two sick kids? I don't know. How does that work when then you have more kids than parents? I was soooooooooooo thankful that while Addy was in the bathtub getting her hair washed that Neal was downstairs with the barf bowl for Ellie. That makes 7 times for her. I put Addy's bed right outside the bathroom door.

* I'm thankful that at least so far...neither parent has thrown up. Tomorrow could be a very very very long day.

Please please Lord...if this isn't a 12 hour bug...would you make it so?
Please please Lord...can mommy be immune to this one? Just this once?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

the big V

Ok...so. How can I make Valentine's a special time...without spending money we don't have to spend. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

ah-HAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heavenly Homemakers to the rescue. And for all those moms out there...if you haven't yet found this amazing resource...you need to. Really. Dig around on the website and find all the fun fun fun little goodies for your kids.

For example...This morning Addy came down the "candy lined" stairs to find fun notes stuck up all over our house that were made from fun downloadable images. Like...one note said U R A Star...but the letters are all cute and cuddly and the star was a picture. You can find these fun letters and graphics at the HH site. I printed them out and cut them out and all over the stairs, kitchen, doors, mirrors, even the dishwasher were fun messages. Cost: Freeeeeee. And then I had printed out a puzzle I downloaded from the HH website that was so cute. A little elephant with hearts allll over and it said, "I love you to pieces." I downloaded it...printed it...colored it a little...cut it out...and "VOILA" fun valentines for the girls. Addy went crazy over it. Cost: Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I had gotten up early and made chocolate muffins for Addy...which was good because at 7AM my phone rang and a friend needed emergency help with day care. GULP! What will I do with an extra 2 and 4 year old all morning. Well...I'll tell you. We pulled up the good ol' Heavenly Homemakers website and pulled up the yummy homemade soft pretzel recipe and we make them together. Cost of an amazing healthy fun recipe with step by step directions in pictures: Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

And you would think it doesn't get any better than free...except it does...because Laura with HH (who happens to be my stunningly witty cousin) has allll sorts of fun things to read and play with and stuff...but she has also taken her amazing talents and written several little e-books about her experiences in her kitchen with 4 boys who are always hungry and her determination to keep them all healthy eaters. She has these books for sale in her website shop...which is so fun because everything is so reasonable. And worth every penny. Like...I have her "Totally Tortillas" book...and let me tell you...my life is changed. (There are lots of other cool things in her shop too...like cooking kits for kids, prayer journals, card kits, and more of those fun valentine puzzles I mentioned.)

We also had a coupon for Cold Stone...so we went there after my friends girls got picked up and I made Fettucine Alfredo for dinner. I also got to go to Addy's V-Day party at school. That was pretty fun because she was one of two student teachers for the day. :) It was a pretty fun laid back day...and thanks to Laura...it was pretty fun for ALL the little girls in my house today.

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

the drama bus

I always tell people there is a LOT of drama at our house. I mean c'mon...there is a lot of female "power" going on in my house. I admit to being guilty of my turns driving the drama bus -- but the girls can get their "thing" on too.

Addy has convinced herself that tonight the world has frowned upon her and she is just having a rough go. I can't even tell you the actual cause of the huffyness.

But...here are the declarations the drama bus driver has made tonight:

*I want a note made of this. I have not been treated right today.

*I'll tell you ONE thing that has been fair today. NOTHING!

*This is the worst day of my life. Especially tonight.

I had to remind Addy that she got to make cornbread with me, make her valentines for school today (which included big giant tootsie pops that she got to eat one of), a new fun shirt to wear to school today, and she got to play her favorite computer game. Oh it is a rough life -- isn't it.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

the facts and fictions of Ellie

Fact: Ellie is 3.
Fact: She is a really articulate kid.
Fact: Ellie is a firecracker.
Fact: When firecrackers are firecrackering which they often do...firecrackers go bang...thus loosing some of the articulateness.

Factual translation: When Ellie gets going...her words start to go too.

Fiction: Mermaids.

Do you remember when you were a small kid...and you could lay on your tummy in the bathtub and fit all the way. And do you remember pushing off one end with your toes and sploushing to the other end and water splashes up? And then you push off with you hands back to the other end??? Ohhhh yeah me too. So clearly. This my friends is how I found Ellie in the tub. Sploushing back and forth.

Fact: Water is EVERYWHERE.

Fiction: (All the while Ellie is telling me this she is sloushing back and forth.)

Mama...I am a mermaid. (sploush) And Addy is a mermaid. (sploush) And you are a lermaid. And Papa. (sploush) And Wisabella (Fact: Isabella is the 9 month old baby of my friend Jill who is much more pixie than mermaid)and Maddy and Aiden. (sploush) AND Dora. (sploush) And SHE is a REAL lermaid. And this other girl she is a real mermaid. And there is the animals. And then there is this purple woctopus and the woctopus is purple and he has a boat and he has stuff (inflection indicates stuff is bad stuff). And Dora and the real Lermaid and the Boots...Boots is a lermaid too. They don't like the woctopus and that's how I read it.

Fact: At this point I realize she is telling me the plot of a book of Dora saving the ocean from a octopus who litters and pollutes the ocean.

Factual Fiction: And MAMA, lermaids live in the water and they make big splahes (SPLOUSH) and then they spit out the water in their mouths.

Fact: I'm pretty sure the water in their mouths comes from the big sploushing they do. Hmmmm.

Factual Fiction: And the water is COOL. Lermaids have a tail and stuff instead. I LOVE the lermaids.

Fact: To get your three year old off the subject of "lermaids" present them with a cat hoodie towel.

Fictional Facts: Mama! I need that towert. No...a tolel. No a...(a towel Ellie?) Yes! A TOWEL! I neeeeeed the duck towel. Ok alright...I'll be a cat. Meow Meow. Addy will be the duck later...quack quack. I possed to be a cat, please I'm a cat. I neeeeeeed to be a cat. And I'm fine...ok...I neeeeed to put it on. Mama! I need to tell you about cats.

crazy things that happened while the computer was gone

1. Ellie...and of course this happened to Ellie...got gum in her hair. And I...and of course this happened to me...didn't notice until about....12 hours later. So. The gum was past the point of being worked out of the hair with peanut butter or whatever.

Me: Jill...I know it's late but can you come over here??? And bring your scissors.
Jill: Do you want to try to cut it out?
Me: No. Come over here.

The next day Ellie was sporting a super cute new 'do that falls just below her chin. It's really cute...and her hair hadn't been cut in over a year...so it was time. And Jill did an amazing job. So Addy got a cut too...and now we all have cute shorter hair.

2. Neal got pulled over by a policedude for turning right on red. Thats right. For turning right on red.

PD: You can't turn right on red.
Neal: Yes you can.
PD: No you can't.
Neal: Yes I can.
PD: Not there. There is a sign.
Neal: No there isn't
PD: Yes there is.
Neal: No there isn't.
PD: Yes there is.
Neal: Show me.
PD: Oh...I guess there isn't.
Neal: So if you can't ticket me I will be on my way.

3. I speed dated in church. That's right. We went to an event called group link to get hooked up with other people for a small group. And alllll the people that came to this event had to line on both sides of a row of papers sporting fun topics to discuss in one minute. Things like...

Mountains or beaches? Discuss.
Describe your favortie scene from a movie.
Cats or dogs?
Most embarassing moment.
Fave e-bay purchase.

Longest 20 minutes of my life. But I think I got into a pretty cool small group. We will see...our first meeting is on Sunday night.

4. Addy has decided she cannot hear right out of her left ear. I'm still trying to decide how serious to take this decision.

Me: Are you trying to be funny? Because not being able to hear is pretty serious.
Addy: No...I can't hear the soft things as well as the loud things.
Me: Yeah...but thats normal.
Addy: No...I need more sound in this ear.
Me: But that would mean we need to take you to the dr.
Addy: Oh...I hear fine then. *grins*

I can see her both being silly and serious about this. I'm going to look into wax removal. Remember when Ellie had a giant amount of wax pulled out of her ear? Anybody know anything about this?

5. Neal had our taxes done by Feb 2. This is a record.

6. I have decided then that it is an ok time to annouce I am going to California in March with Sally. :) I'm excited and I don't care who knows it. And if anyone wants to judge me for this...I am immune. So there. I stand firm. I deserve to go...and we got a great deal on tickets. (I'm talking to myself...can you tell?)

7. I had a discussion about chewing with my 3 year old kid.

Ellie: Mama...what do you do with the toast in your mouth.
Me: I eat it. *huh?*
Ellie: No Mama...what do you do with the toast in your mouth.
Me: I eat it.
Ellie: *sighs and walks away*

Ellie: Whaf do i do wif the towst in mah mouf?
Me: Ellie...thats gross...you swallow it. *ooooh.*
Ellie: I tan't.
Me: Why not?
Ellie: I tan't.
Me: Take a drink and swallow that toast.
Ellie: *drinks*...ok.

Later at dinner:

Ellie: What do I do with the food in my mouth?
Me: You SWALLOW it.
Ellie: Ok.

What on earth???? I never knew the conversations I would have as a mom. And why oh why do I have to repeat everything 10 times???

Anyway...I'm so happy to have my outlet for the crazy back. :)

Friday, February 1, 2008

crazy conversation to leave you with

Ellie: Mom, you have a booger on your pants.
Me: Did YOU put it there???
Ellie: Yes. TASTY!