Special Dedications to:

Laura of Heavenly Homemakers...

Dave Ramsey with Financial Peace University

My small group

-------------------

I have always tried to be supremely real on my blog. So here goes.

My small group has started in a 13-week study on financial matters by Dave Ramsey called Financial Peace University. I had already read one of his books...and had some understanding of what was coming.

Neal does amazing at his job...and so far...there have been only a few times for us to really be wondering where the money would come from to pay our bills. But...I don't work. Do the math for the average American family...and you can quickly deduce that we aren't rolling in the dough and most certainly live from pray-check to pray-check. And since staying home with our kids is the top top top priority and value for our family...we have had to work hard to make that happen. And sometimes we have made poor choices...and sometimes life is hard.

Dave Ramsey's first tip for financial freedom and peace is to save $1000 dollars as fast as you can for emergencies. Because emergencies will come. And then if you have that money...you don't have to whip out the credit card to save yourself...which ends up not really saving you.

I tried to share with our group...and I am not sure they believed me...that this will be a real test for Neal and I to get this fund. We are so careful with our dollars...knowing we don't have much to work with. I feel like we have already "cut the fat" out of our lifestyle. We don't have pets, we don't have a car payment (and one car has a vicious crack in the windshield we refuse to fix), we don't have cable, we almost never eat out anywhere more expensive than taco bell (and when I'm not in the middle of grief work...I usually make everything from scratch), I don't color my hair, I don't get mani/pedi/facials, we rarely go out to bowl or the movies, we almost never get a babysitter for anything, we don't have our kids in lots of extra activities, I'm careful about running the AC (I confess to being terrible about leaving lights on), we don't have a home phone, we use Netflix instead of renting movies, we don't make expensive purchases on clothes or electronics or furniture. Our cars and computer were the big purchases of the last two years...and we payed cash for both. It's really hard for me to know where to cut back.

I am, however, determined. I am going to be making an effort to find some houses to clean...and doing my best to find the hidden ways to cut back. I have come up with two ways so far. Number 1: Give up my deep-seeded need for lots and lots of Diet Dr. Pepper. I just bought a case of coke...and after its gone...every 12 days that goes by...I'm going to add 7 dollars to the fund. We have an ice maker in our fridge...so I'm planning on making a lot of tea.

Number 2: This is where it gets scaryyyyy. I asked Neal this morning if I could get a hair cut. My hair needed a trim soooooooo badly and my bangs were getting so crazy long. He of course said yes...but I was really struggling with the 20 bucks it would cost to get it done. I considered calling Jill--who is amazing at hair...and probably wouldn't charge me a thing...but I know she is sooooo busy. (Hi ya!) I spend 30 seconds thinking about this post by Laura...and I picked up the scissors and CUT MY OWN HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't say I'll be cutting anyone else's hair for a living...and all I did was trim up the bottom...cut my bangs...and cut off the crazy long angled front hair that was driving me crazy. The back is still layered all cute from a professional. Still...its not bad...and I'll have Neal double check the back when he gets home. Its not that hard. Woo-hooo! 20 bucks for the fund!!!!!!!!!!!!! And here is the picture...which was harder to get than to cut my own hair!!

We can do this. So...all you pray-ers out there...pray that we can get our fund together quickly...and that I can find some houses to clean to help out!!!!!!!

My Fabulous Pre-Schooler!

Today is Ellie's first day of Pre-School!!!! Look out world...here comes Ellie. My little fire cracker is starting out to make a great big bang. I'm not even a teensie bit sad. I'm so excited for her to starting "creating" something that is just hers. She wasn't a bit sad either. She RAN into the room this morning.

Ellie: Mom, this time I don't want you to come with me.

I felt bad for the mom whose kid was screaming the minute they hit the parking lot. Addy cried a little the first week at her preschool...but I was so convinced she needed it so much that it really didn't bother me. I felt so bad for that mom of the crying kid. The mom had tears running down her face on the way out. I was much happier to have the kid who ran into class not worried a bit about me. The oddest sensation for me was dropping/picking up Ellie without trailing a sleepy/active/grumpy toddler on my hip. All these experiences with Addy, I had Ellie in tow. I need a baby. Sigh.

We took these pictures this morning. The problem with Ellie...is that she is NEVER ever still. Her little body is just rock solid muscle...cause she never stops moving. so the picture session was a little silly. Sorry for the cheese. :)

We started out the morning with homemade oatmeal banana pancakes. She was so excited she had a hard time settling down to eat...and finally just had to come back to her plate after we were all dressed and ready. Silly thing.


Here is Ellie all dressed up in her first day outfit!


And of COURSE we would have a DORA backpack. Life wouldn't be worth living without Dora. :)



And the pictures of all the swirling, dancing, and jumping while I tried to get a good picture.




And here I had her looking at a step stone while smiling AT the stone so I could get just a few good ones. :) I love her.

And here she is...happily in her class.

September 1st

Around the first of June...I thought there was nooooo way I would ever make it until today. I can't tell you how many times I said or thought, "If it would just be
September...". I figured if I could see may way out of the oppressiveness of summer...surviving until September...I imagined I would be able to find my footing and start to climb out of the deepest darkest hole ever.

And if you had told me on June 1st...that by Sept 1st I would have moved, prepared two kids to start a new school year, done two garage sales, be a soccer mom, survived a week without my husband, and done a myriad of other things...I would have literally thrown up on your shoes.

My heart is still broken. I miss Gary. I miss Neal having Gary for a brother. I miss Kim. I miss having that sister. I miss hearing their names. I miss their jokes. My heart THROBS every time I walk by my closet and there is Kim's shirt hanging there...or glancing over at the bouquet from her wedding...or finding her picture in some spot I wasn't expecting it. JUST today I found baby pictures of Gary in my MOM's garage leftover from a project I was working on.

It still hurts on September 1st. Its not over. Its not gone. I still can't make decisions very well...or handle stress like I could before...or make it through a single part of church without crying. Even a budget meeting. 3 months...might as well be 10 years.

I am finding my footing. Finding a new normal. I started really cooking again...we haven't eaten out all week. I made roast, pretzels, homemade pizza, homemade macaroni and cheese. I'm surviving hard changes in the relationships around me...and not being shattered by them. (Loving people is hard and messy sometimes.)

And each degree that the thermometer drops...I know we are getting closer and closer to fall. And that oppression of summer and heat and time...is lifting. Not so much that I'm free or healed. But enough I can see small changes.

I even need to get my hair trimmed. (I cut it mostly off -- in an effort to have a way to proclaim grief -- and to mark time).

I even have a little to give others. Or at least I try. If you had told me on June 1...that by now I could handle anyone else's pain on top of my own...I would have to hand you a mop again for your shoes.

I feel stained. Stained with death, horror, grief, ugliness, smallness, brokenness. And at the same time, I feel redeemed. Redeemed by understanding, rebuilding, compassion, grace, and defeated death.

Without God, I would be nothing more than ash. Burnt up and destroyed.


A friend and I are working our way through Beth Moore's study, "Breaking Free." We have found this study to be timed to reach directly into our day and announce -- Here is the message from the Lord your God."

--From the study this week:

God never allows or appoints a fire unless He can bring beauty from the ashes. He can bring you through without even smelling like smoke. (Lord...the smell of the smoke chokes me sometimes...can you really remove even the smell??? Please, Lord.) We cannot often refuse the fire, but we can refuse to be refined by it. (Please Lord, refine me. Don't let the fire be for nothing.) The ultimate goal of the Refiner is to see HIS reflection in the precious metal. (I could not ask for more.)

Isaiah 61:3 -- To all how mourn in Israel, he WILL give beauty for ashes, JOY instead of mourning, praise for despair.

Genesis 32:26 -- But Jacob panted, " I will NOT let go until you bless me."

Our newest Netflix love:

Its as good as I remembered...you know...watching the re-runs as a kid!

Welcome Back, Kotter! And Epstein, and Barbarino, and Horshack, and Washington!

More Box Fun

The only thing better than turning your boxes into rocket ships while mom is packing...is turning them into boats for all you lovies while mom is unpacking. :) I found Ellie today conducting a cruise line for her lovies.


Here is what happens when she yells out..." All Aboard!!!!!!!!!!"

Last night she declared this same box full to the brim of lovies her "lovie box bed." Then she got really mad at Neal when he informed her she could in fact NOT sleep in the box.

Can I tell you something funny Ellie said that has nothing do with the box boat? Good. She looked all squinty up close at my freckled face and said, "Mom, you have polka dots all over your face."

Anyway...I have been working on their bedroom. Here is a picture of a good chunk of their toys and books unpacked and organized on my boat shelf.

And here is a special picture. While my mom was packing up her house, she came across these super cute Care Bear things. She made these for my nursery when I was born. I think they are so fun, and I took them to college with me. I asked the girls if they liked them -- and of course they did. So now they are gracing the girls wall with cheer and ... well ... care. :)


Step by step its all coming together...and in the mean time...nothing like playing in a good box.

My NEW HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright already. I have been scolded. My first priority today is updating my blog!!!!!!!

My newest moving tips.
1. NEVER move at the same time as your mom. You can't help each other very well. And then EVERYONE is melting down with no safe place. :) Mom hands over her keys to her house today.
2. NEVER move at the exact same time school is starting. Too many changes at once causes the little people to melt down.
3. NEVER move at the same time a sport season is starting. I was already struggling to find clean clothes everyday for me...but to also find shin guards and soccer socks, AND cleats. Whew.
4. ALWAYS have an amazing small group to help you move. My small group from church came over...and in ONE hour had my entire townie emptied. And in the next hour had everything unloaded at the new place. And in the next hour...beds together and made...fridge pieced back together and cleaned...banister taken down put back up and repaired...pizza ordered...kids bathed and ready for school the next day. It is an incredible feeling to be loved. And I've watched many amazing friends swoop in and do similar things for my mom.
5. NEVER send your kids to your inlaws house to be babysat on moving day when they are about to come down with the flu. Having to rush over and pick up your kids so they can puke in peace makes your head spin. My house got moved and I wasn't even THERE!

Here are pics of what I have been working on...instead of blogging. :)
My front porch. Notice I covered up my address so that the whole world doesn't know exactly where I live. :) This duplex feels a lot like a house.


This is my favorite thing in my new house. It is a shelf that my FIL made from the door of a barn at the Hamm family farm. I just got it...and I think it is fabulous. 100 percent "me" and it is so special. It sits in my living room.

I have already gotten Neal to hang up my quilt. I have a really special one my mom made for me that goes up in the fall. I can hardly wait each year for fall to get it up.

I took this picture standing in the corner of my front door looking into the VERY open living room and kitchen!

My fabulously awesome kitchen!

The view from the kitchen into the living room:

A peek into my unpacked and finished bathroom:

Here is what the not yet worked on parts looked like. I'm working on this part today. Its the stuff on my desk in my bedroom.

Here is what the girls call their "Secret World" out in the back.

A view of the side yard and wonderful shade tree:

And a view pics of the biggest down side. Here is the major water leak going on under that shade tree-- that is on the city side of the water pipes. "It's on the agenda." Great...in the mean time we are like a mosquito factory.


I'm still super excited...and loving the new place. Neal and I both feel like we are living in a town for the first time in years. And that 5 minute drive...to school...practice...anyway...is amazing. :)

My townhouse

Tonight is our last night in our super special little townhouse. I always thought it looked so cozy and warm...like a little cabin tucked away. I loved living here. I loved the neighbors :), the sidewalk circles, the well maintained grounds, the super nice manager.

I am however, so so so excited about our new place. It is bigger...and better. The kitchen is bigger and open and nice with new appliances. I have a laundry room, a nice yard...a private patio. I will love not driving like a maniac lots of times a day. For less dollars.

Goodbye little townie...you were fun.